Damn those Blasted Wards!
by Leaping Lion
Summary: What are the Wards around Harry's house at 4 Privet Drive, Surrey sopost to do anyway? Oneshot


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or anyone else in this story. I do own a pretty Harry Potter Calendar though! My B-day week has Severus Snape , Yay!

-0-

Harry Potter sat on his lawn with a bowl of popcorn and a giant bottle of Pepsi.

Late last night, he had been awoken to the district sound of apparitions. He had jumped up and thrown open the window.

Death Eaters! Everywhere!!

Harry stood at the window before running downstairs to open the front door.

_Not his smartest idea ever…_

The Death Eaters had spotted him and all pulled out their wands and aimed for him.

_Shit._

Harry closed his eyes and threw his hands up to protect himself.

_Not that it would have __worked_

Nothing

He looked up to see several Death Eaters lying on his lawn.

_Yes, HIS lawn. With all the work he had put into it, he had the right to call it HIS._

He looked at them again and noticed they were all _Stupified_ and some were even dead.

_What the hell?_

Harry watched in shock as the Death Eaters that were still up turned and glared at him and then started throwing out spells of their own. Each spell was then thrown right back at them when the spells got within 5 feet of the house.

The Death Eaters had then decided to just wait him out. After all, you can't stay inside a house forever… Right?

_WRONG._

To Harry's joy and luck, earlier that day the Dursley's had made him go and restock the house's emergency supplies and also made him go grocery shopping. Harry figured he had plenty of time on his hands, they were ready for World War 3.

-0-

Harry grinned as another Death eater showed up. They had been disappearing and reappearing every so often. Every time one went away, another one, _a new one_, showed up and tried to hex him.

Of course, the spell backfired and flew right back at them.

_ This was m__aking Harry's __day very enjoyable._

The newest Death Eater stared at those around him and then grinned at Harry. You could _hear_ the wheels turning in his head.

'If I get Potter before these idiots, the Dark Lord will think I am his most loyal and reward me!'The Death Eater turned to Harry and threw off an orange spell that Harry didn't recognize.

The spell flew back at the Death Eater, and turned him bright pink with little girly bows and make-up.

Harry couldn't hold in his laughter anymore. He fell to his knees and held his stomach.

Several of the Death Eaters jumped up from their seats and looked at Harry. Joy was written across their faces. Harry guessed they must not be able to hear him either, or they would _not_ be smiling.

Harry suddenly threw back his head and let out another laugh. He snuck a look at the Death Eaters and the joy that was on their faces had abruptly vanished.

_Idiots, you'd think they would be able to tell the difference from a laughing person and a tortured person._

The Death Eaters sat back down, and awaited the next idiot who would stop on by.

-0-

Several hours later, much to Harry's surprise, Voldemort's Inner Circle showed up to see everyone sitting around.

Harry watched as they barked out orders, only god knew what though, before looking and seeing Harry sitting there.

They all suddenly had great big grins on their faces.

_Wheels, I hear, are quite popular these days_

They all suddenly shouted, well he guessed they shouted, spells in his direction.

Sadly, they managed to dodge the reversed curses.

_Damn __it__ and I'm getting bored of this._

To Harry's luck, Bellatrix decided that since spells didn't work, maybe physical force would.

_Oh dear god she is not going to __actually__-_

Harry was cut out as Bellatrix ran right towards him only to be thrown backward into a tree. He watched through tears as she fell to the ground, shakily got up, and shuffled around holding her head.

_Oh__ I__ do__ hope they keep doing th__at. I might just die of laughter_

-0-

An hour or so later, after countless other attempts to get in, Harry saw movement to his left.

There was Lucius Malfoy, walking calmly toward him.

_What in the world is he going to do__…?_

Lucius stopped about 5 feet from the house and then smiled at Harry.

He took a step forward.

Nothing happened.

He then took another step forward.

Still nothing

Lucius then strode across the lawn and was now standing right in front of Harry.

_Oh Merlin, I'm g__oing to__ die. _

_God__ I didn't mean to laugh at them. I couldn't help it! Please don't punish me because they were being stupid!_

Then Lucius Malfoy conjured up a chair and sat down next to Harry and watched the other Death Eaters gasp at him.

The other Death Eaters, thinking that whatever had stopped them before were gone; all ran toward Harry and Lucius.

It seemed like hours went by after that, but Harry and Lucius didn't notice. They were laughing too hard at the Death Eaters who were thrown back by the so called "Blood Wards" around #4 Privet Drive, Surry.

-0-

Now this one, I can actually remember where it came from.

I was reading 'Harry Potter and the Blood Prophecies' by _Lethelyn_, and I was reading a fight scene and kept wondering what about the Wards at Harry's House?

And then I remembered _Mistress __Nika's_ 'The Curse of Fate' story and I couldn't help by wonder, what would happen if a Death Eater randomly ran at the wards?

This is the product of reading stories at 3 in the morning while eating Gobstoppers.

Edited for minor Grammar errors: 1/6/08

Please send me a message if you notice anymore grammatical errors.


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